When we were searching for a house, I reached a point where I was ready to give up on everything. At one point, we were seriously considering staying in a tent for the rest of the year. That’s how desperate things had become. There just wasn’t anything available within our budget, and the few places that were close simply weren’t habitable. Add in deposits, fees, and the costs of moving, and the situation felt hopeless.
During this time, my faith was unraveling right alongside my patience. I’ll be honest—I was ready to walk away from anything related to faith. I was angry, bitter, and tired of praying prayers that seemed to go unanswered. I am not Job, and I certainly wasn’t responding with his level of steadfast trust. Instead, I found myself pointing fingers, blaming anyone and anything I could think of.
But in one of my lowest moments, I did something I hadn’t done before. I made a vow to God. I knew even then how serious vows are, and how much weight they carry. Breaking them is not something to take lightly.
My vow was simple but heartfelt: I needed God to help us find a home—one that was livable—and in return I promised to work harder on my relationship with Him. I vowed to find a church home, to work on forgiveness for those I felt had wronged me, and to strive each day to become a better woman of God.
The very next day, we received the call: we could have the first house we had looked at. It wasn’t the house of my dreams—in fact, it probably isn’t the house of anyone’s dreams. But it was a house. It was safe, solid, and ours to move into. Most importantly, it was an answer to prayer. God had heard me in the middle of my breaking point.
Now, I am working each day to fulfill my vow. Some days are easier than others. For example, one part of my promise was to be more intentional about prayer. We never said grace before meals unless it was a holiday, so remembering to pause and give thanks at every meal has been a challenge. Some days it comes naturally and I feel encouraged, and other days I forget until late at night, when the guilt sets in.
But here’s the truth I’m learning: this journey isn’t about perfection, it’s about progress. God didn’t provide this house because I was already perfect or because I had everything figured out. He gave me this house so I would have the opportunity to grow, to lean on Him, and to take the next step in faith.
Maybe you’ve been where I am—overwhelmed, exhausted, questioning if God is listening. Maybe you’re there right now. If so, let me gently encourage you: don’t give up. Even in the darkest seasons, even when our prayers feel like they’re bouncing off the ceiling, God is still moving. He sees, He knows, and He provides—sometimes in ways we don’t expect, sometimes in ways that stretch us, but always in ways that remind us of His love.
This house may not be the home I dreamed of, but it is the home God chose for us in this season. And because of that, I know it’s exactly where I’m supposed to be.
Each day, I start again—learning, growing, and becoming unstuck.
“The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still.” – Exodus 14:14
